The Ironic-Memetic Manifesto

We are for the meme that is philosophical-psychical-metaphysical, that does something other than sit on its ass on an image board.

We are for the meme that grows up not knowing it is a meme at all, a meme given the chance of having a starting point of zero.
We are for the meme that embroils itself with the normie crap and still comes out on top.
We are for the meme that imitates the nonhuman, that is tragicomic, if necessary, or violent, or whatever is necessary.
We are for a meme that takes its form from the network of the cyberspace itself, that uploads and seeds and flames and pixelates and compresses, and is ethereal and laggy and warm and sour and stupid as the web itself.

We are for a memesmith who vanishes, turning up on a second account shitposting on social network sites.

We are for a meme that covers a screen like static electricity and fizzles at the touch of a finger.
We are for a meme that spills out onto a stay-at-home mom’s desktop when she downloads pictures off an email from her younger sister.
We are for the meme off a 90’s blog, last updated decades ago.
We are for the meme that a kid clicks, after looking around to check his parents are out.
We are for a meme that joggles like everyone’s mouse wheels, when they scroll through an article for the comments.
We are for a meme that is switched off with the remote like an advert, tastes like licking a battery.
We are for a meme that flickers like a screensaver, or glitches out on a handheld video game console.

We are for a meme that is put on and taken off like headphones, which develops fragmentation like a data store, which is put on repeat like a favourite song, or abandoned with great contempt like a dead torrent.

We are for a meme peppered with hyperlinks. We are for a meme that drags and refreshes and types and saves.
We are for a meme that comes in a CD-R or gets lost in the spam folder.
We are for a meme that whirrs and vibrates like a hard disk drive. We are for a meme that collects fine dust.
We are for a meme you can chat on. We are for a meme you can set an alarm on or re-heat the takeaway in.
We are for a meme converted from packets, from the jitter of the grandparent’s voice, from the edge of a mousepad, from the heat of the laptop charger, leaving spots the vision or worn on the wrist.
We are for a meme under the cable rubber, and the meme of a duct taped desktop case.

We are for the meme of conversation between the sever and a client.
We are for the meme that detects smoke, that comes down out of the power pole at night, like wifi, that hides in the modem and charges phones. We are for a meme that is flipped on and off with a switch.
We are for a meme that buffers like a cartoon, that you can save as, like your sweetie’s video mail, or back up like schoolwork. Which blinks and glows like an LED, which you can list your groceries on like a text file.
We are for a meme that you can blur with, invert with, copy with, crop with, paste with.
We are for a meme that tells you the time of day, or where such and such a street is.
We are for a meme that helps blind people across the street.

We are for the meme of the washing machine. We are for the meme of internet banking tax payments. We are for the meme of last year’s proxy wars.
We are for the meme that comes up like frogs from sewer holes in summer. We are for the meme that crashes when you open it twice. We are for the Trojan’s meme inside the PC. We are for the meme of sweat that develops between the ears and foam padded headsets.

We are for the meme of neck hair and crushed cans, for the meme between the tines of plastic forks, for the odor of ozone.
We are for the meme of pay-to-win, and the meme of blinking, shaking pop up ads.
We are for the meme of light blue chat windows and blinking names of friends.
We are for the meme of cheap plastic and aluminum. We are for the meme of worn WASD keys and smashed spacebars. We are for the meme of sticky keys and high contrast. We are for the meme of Alt and Ctrl. We are for the meme of broken USB flash drives.
We are for the meme of scanning comic books, camcorders inside movie theatres. We are for the meme of flaming and spamming and breaking boards, and refreshing things to make them crash.

We are for the meme of speeding and skidding and spilled fizzy drinks. We are for the meme of kids’ gaming accounts. We are for the meme of keyboard mashing.
We are for the meme of net-cafes, ear-picking, noodle-drinking, chopstick-splitting, screen-peeking. We are for the meme of falling off an office chair.

We are for the meme of automatically flushing urinals and the meme of taxicabs. We are for the meme of touchscreen phones dropped on concrete. We are for the majestic meme of the unemptied trash can, rising like skyscrapers.

We are for the blinking memes, lighting up the night. We are for a meme spinning, opening, sensing, vibrating, going on and off.
We are for the meme of big electric car batteries and black camera lenses.
We are for Runescape memes, WoW memes, Minesweeper memes, Nintendo memes, Samsung memes, Sony memes, Windows memes, Apple memes, Linux memes, Google memes, Piratebay memes, Facebook memes, Lumix memes, TOR memes, 4chan memes, 9gag memes, You Won’t Believe What Happens Next memes, 9.99 memes, Now memes, New memes, How memes, Online Only memes, Free Delivery memes, Invite Your Friends memes, Collectible memes, Vintage memes, Reblogged memes, Subscribe memes, 30 Day Free Trial memes.

We are for the meme of screen smudged by a little boy’s thumb. We are for the laser mouse’s dance between page loads. We are for the meme of a ladybug walking on an e-book reader screen in the sunlight. We are for the meme of old GPU and new CPU. We are for the meme of clicking among the players when the creep waves come and go. We are for the brown sad meme of last gen’s game of the year.
We are for the meme of umms and errs of first time vloggers and for the meme of their shy pixelated eyes.
We are for the white meme of refrigerators and their muscular openings and closings.
We are for the meme of rust and gold. We are for the meme of online degrees, fake degrees or arts degrees, virtual universities and virtual professors. We are for the meme of scratched up CDs and looping half-seconds of treble, bass, midrange, and de-ranged sounds.
We are for the meme of things lost or thrown away, clearing the browser history. We are for the meme of Youtube poop and un-closeable windows and the noise of slowed down R&B. We are for the meme of pencil tools and asymmetrical, pixel scattered circles, and grainy profile pictures and stickied posts, and the meme of windshield wipers and the meme of the finger on an elevator button, inserting coins or the rubbery buttons of an EFTPOS terminal.
We are for the meme of dress up games and first person shooters and accident videos, hate mail, raped beds, chairs with their black sockets broken, burning web cams, LAN cable ends, hard disks, floppy disks, and booths with men sleeping in them.

We are for the meme of slightly buggy school websites, awkward selfies and leaked private emails, synth beats and plunderphonic lo-fi, and electronic phonographs.
We are for the meme of abandoned televisions, empty like mirrors. We are for a meme of microwave ovens and chillwave kids and radio wave networks.
We are for Most Views Within Last 24 Hours Meme, 5 Star Review meme, Anonymous meme, Click Here for More meme, Scientists Hate Him! meme, Play Now meme, No Credit Card Required meme, Please Share and Subscribe meme, 4 of Your Friends Like This meme, Report Bug meme, Debug meme, bug meme, biology meme, dank meme, orange meme, Japanese meme, anime meme, frog meme, feel meme, cooking meme…

2015, NZ